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I have been an active participant in the #humblebrag community on Twitter, and I have always wondered about the distinction between being humble and bragging. The distinction between being humble and being confident is a huge one. These are the two biggest differences between a humble person and a confident person.
The most important difference between a humble person and a confident person is that a humble person thinks about what they are doing, how they are doing it, how they feel they are doing it, and how they are feeling they are doing it. For example, a humble person is most likely not just making a bunch of random, random, random little comments in the background while she is typing this sentence.
In contrast, a confident person tends to be more focused on what they are doing and what they are feeling. They are more committed, more engaged, more focused, and so on.
Think about what you are saying, then say it in a way that shows how you feel about it. For example, you might write, “I am feeling really bad about being stuck on an island with no way to get out.” This shows that you are feeling really bad about being stuck doing something, but also that you are still having a good time doing it.
Contrast is a powerful strategy because it allows you to understand what you are experiencing through the way you talk about it. For example, a person who is feeling really bad about being stuck on an island with no way to get out might say, I am feeling really bad about being stuck on an island with no way to get out. A person who is feeling really bad about being stuck doing something might say, I am feeling really bad about being stuck doing something.
Contrast strategies often work on people who are feeling bad about things or people who feel bad about things. The reason is that they allow you to understand the way you feel about them through the way you talk about it. Contrast strategies work on the two extremes. The first extreme is when a person is upset about something and they feel like they are not doing anything right or good.
I am feeling really bad about being stuck doing something.
A contrast strategy is a mental process that makes sense of a problem in a way that allows the person to move forward in the right direction. For example, if I am feeling really bad about something I say, “I feel like I’m doing nothing right or good.” That seems to have made sense of the situation and I feel like I am doing my best.
Another example is when a parent is trying to communicate with their child and they are feeling like they are not understanding the situation or not being understood. Again, it seems like Im doing my best and Im doing a lot to make sure I am understood fully.
This is the perfect example of why I say, “always do your best.” Doing your best makes you feel like you are doing your best. You are not just feeling bad about something, you are feeling bad because you feel bad about something.